The Adventures of Jane, Marley and Cat

It’s been a week at the Crazy House.  There are too many people, too many dogs, and too many cigarette butts (and they are NOT mine).

People are crabby, people are angry, people are disrespectful.

My solution: I’m going to kick them all out of the nest and move to a teensy tiny apartment and keep my doors locked.

Seriously, I’m giving very intense thought to moving from the Big Crazy House and into a 2 bedroom condo with just the youngest and giving everyone else the boot.

The Youngest is delighted at this, as she understands the money I will be saving and thinks this will be reflected in her closet with new clothes and shoes.

In reality, it will be reflected in our refrigerator with fresh veggies and fruit and the occassional steak.

Here’s the gory truth: I’m tired of looking at my own personal shit, I’m tired of hearing about everyone else’s shit, and I just want to shut myself up in a small place and watch General Hospital and discuss “The Hills” with my youngest.

Bad mom?

I don’t know… when they are 19, 21, and 24 years old, isn’t it time for Momma Bird to kick them out of the nest?  Especially if they don’t contribute to the nest or keep the nest clean?  (For the record, oldest child does contribute and clean)

And then on the other hand, the thought of moving puts me into a coma.

What’s a Big Bird to do?

As you know, I closed down my old blog due to unwanted visitors.  At this point on the old site there is just a page that says “this page is under construction”.  There aren’t even any old blog posts to read.

Nevertheless, my ex-husband continues to stalk the site.  Don’t believe me?

What part of “This Page is under construction” does he not understand?  Does he believe that I am going to secretly re-open the blog and say, “Oh, nevermind!”

He creeps me out.  Oh yeah, and Wendy, he’s totally reading YOUR blog. HA!

My sister is famous for all that she knows about geeky stuff like gadgets, computers, and music.  I mean, she KNOWS stuff.  This is a good thing, because she tells me stuff.

My stuff-knowledge quotient has put me in the 27th percentile, and although it is better than the man I work with who doesn’t know how to add an attachment to an email, I’m still pretty stupid.  I try to find something new and cool every day to learn, but usually when I do, I discover at the same minute that EVERYONE knew this already.

Take Twitter for instance.

I mean, everyone already knows about Twitter, but I just discovered it about a month ago.  Probably from Dooce, who also knows everything and everyONE.  Now, I believe my sister would say that Twitter is not one of those things that would raise my stuff-knowledge quotient one iota, but nevertheless, it has opened up a new vista of cool people.  And some of these cool people actually like me!

You will notice within the halls of my link column there are several new people.  These are the cool people from Twitter I’m talking about!  Maggie, dammit, Anissa, Fussy Pants, the Almost Royal, Sarah Bellum, and the Blogess are all Twitterers who have great blogs.

Oh, and if you don’t know Twitter, well, you just don’t know what’s going on.  At least that is the premise behind Twitter.  To know in the moment the banal details of people’s lives.

For example, you would have learned that my hair was hijacked by Tammy Faye Baker this morning.  Or that Sarahbellum has a sinus headache, or that various people are returning to school.

I mean, people, this is stuff you HAVE TO KNOW.

So, I guess you could say my Innane-and-Useless Knowledge quotient is quite high.  Like 77%.  So there.