The Adventures of Jane, Marley and Cat

Ryan: I am thrilled today to be interviewing Lianne Hatch on today’s program. Lianne, it’s been a while since we’ve visited, hasn’t it?

Lianne: Yes, Ryan. I’ve been really busy since we last spoke. But I’m excited to be here today.

Ryan: So tell me, Lianne, what kinds of things are keeping you busy? I understand you were in an auto accident a while back.

Lianne: Yes, but I’m feeling much better now aside from some twinges in my back now and then. But the good news is I have a new car and I feel like a celebrity in it.

Ryan: Lianne, you are a celebrity. Duh.

Lianne: (laughing) I forget sometimes.

Ryan: So, what projects are you involved in right now?

Lianne: Well, I’ve been doing a lot of traveling, but I’m home now for a while. I’m expanding my range of experience. I just started teaching piano again, and although there was a learning-curve, it came back to me pretty quickly. I don’t think I frightened any of the children too badly. Getting up and down off the ground was a bear though. Can you say “toe cramps?”

Ryan: (laughing and flirting a little) I’m sure you did a wonderful job. I’ve also heard you’ve been taking a lot of classes lately. Tell me you’re not into Scientology!

Lianne: Um, no. Although I respect the Cruises for their religious/spiritual choices, Scientology isn’t for me. I’m more into the woo.

Ryan: Woo?

Lianne: You know, the esoteric things like past life experiences, channeling, and astral travel.

Ryan: You’re kidding?

Lianne: Yes. I am kidding. Actually I’m taking classes towards a PhD in Spiritual Life Coaching. And believe me, Shirley McLain isn’t one of my teachers. Although we are good friends.

Ryan: She’s awesome, for a silly old bat.

Lianne: Yeah, and she knows she’s a silly old bat. But I love her.

Ryan: What else is going on for you? You seem really happy and at peace. By the way, you look fabulous for your age.

Lianne: Hey, being over 50 is the bomb! I can do anything I want, say anything I want, and I have come fully into my bootyliciousness. What could be better? I have great friends, (we call ourselves the “Woo Girls”), I have hobbies that make me happy, I have a great family… life is good.

Ryan: So how is the family?  You have such great kids.

Lianne: Yes I do, although I was up all night with a barfing 14-year-old.  She feels terrible!  My older son wants to move to Hawaii, but I’m trying to disuade him, and my younger son ran up the phone bill.  My older daughter wants to find some normal boys to date, but we’re a little short on them in Utah County. Kids.  Gotta love ‘em.

Ryan: So, I just have to ask you… what’s on your TiVo?

Lianne: Ryan, you silly boy… You are, of course. I never miss American Idol, and I thought your coverage of the Red Carpet was spectacular. You know I’m loving Grey’s Anatomy, but I want to say this to the producers: “Work with Kate Heigle… if we lose Izzy, the show will tank!”

Ryan: Who are you listening to these days?

Lianne: Well, I have great friends who send me suggestions. I’m really enjoying KT Tungsall, Anna Nalick, and I still pull out my Joni Mitchell when I want to listen to an old friend.

Ryan: Well, Lianne, it has been so good to see you. Congratulations on your fabulous life. Remember who loves you baby.

Lianne: I know, Ryan, you are my special pet.

Ever since I returned from Hawaii, I feel like I’ve been going a hundred miles an hour. My calendar is filled this week. I leave the house at 7:45 a.m. and return at 7:45 p.m. I have a list on the side of my keyboard with dozens of “to dos” that aren’t getting done.

What I’d like is some quiet time, uninterrupted, where I can think, read, and catch my breath. I feel like my life’s to dos are getting more and more numerous and the minutes are just ticking by. It’s making me a little cranky.

I know there is a huge shift going on for me, although I don’t know if I can actually put it in to words right now. My friend Shantel says that everytime she has been in a car accident, it has catapulted her to the next level. I’m feeling rather catapultish around the edges.

Tonight I teach my first week of piano classes after a six year hiatus. Let’s hope it’s like riding a bike, that my sea legs return quickly, or whatever other mixed metaphor I want to use. While observing a class yesterday I realized that I remember all the songs, all the technique, and today will most likely go well.

Maybe I’ll come home tonight and take a bath, have some herb tea, and just chill.  How’s that for a concept?

The Oscars:

1. Helen Mirren’s dress was perfect and by far my favorite. In fact, I want to be Helen Mirren. I hope she becomes “Dame” Helen Mirren, although that is highly unlikely since she is Number #3 on Queen Elizabeth’s hit list. (Behind TonyMajors and Camilla Parker-Bowels (oh my I think I spelled the incorrectly but won’t change it no matter how much you beg)-Windsor.)

2. Ellen was mediocre. I’m sorry, I think she can be quite charming in her way, but as Simon would say, “The song was too big for you.” And please, how many UGLY pantsuits can one woman wear?

3. Dresses we hated: Nicole Kidman’s bondage dress in red, Kirsten Dunsts’ grey “dress of death”, and Anne Hathaway’s “Rabid Butterfly Bow” dress.

4. Dresses we loved: Helen’s, of course, Reese Witherspoon’s purple retro dress (looking deliciously thin and gorgeous), Penelope Cruz’ feathers (she pulled it off, what can I say?), Gwyneth’s salmon bondage dress (which was less bondagey than Nicole’s), and of course, Queen Latifa’s black dress and Jennifer Hudson’s red dress. Let’s hear it for the big girls!

5. The Go Fug Yourself girls blogged the Oscars. This dialogue is far better than the actual show.

6. Although the women with long straight hair are beautiful, it is bugging me. Beyonce had to continually move her hair, as did Gwyneth, Nicole, and Celine. Ladies, use hairspray or bobby pins. But quit fiddling with your hair!

Woo Girls:

1. Hanging with the Woo Girls is fantastic. Beading with the Woo Girls is amazing. But eating birthday cake, getting presents, beading, and hanging with the Woo Girls is the BEST Birthday!!!!

2. Knowing that there are people in this world who love me for who I am and really see who I am is a wonderful gift.

3. I have Woo Girls in many different states. I am blessed to be loved by so many all over the place.

4. You can never have enough bracelets as Jan and Deb are illustrating.

Movie Madness Continues:

1. As discussed previously on this blog, I have rediscovered the movies. I am not just talking theatrical shows, but the beauty of Netflix.

2. Friday night encorporated “Memoirs of a Geisha” and my birthday present from Kate (knitting needles, a delicious yarn, and a recipe for a great scarf). Brent hung in the basement and I had quiet time in my room.

3. I think I want to see Babel. Am I crazy? Is it way too angsty? Well, I put it in my queue, so we shall see.

Week to Come:

1. It’s a busy week. I start teaching piano tomorrow. I had nightmares about the new Clavinova I have to use. I’m sure it will be fine, I just have to get my head on.

2. I want some quality quiet time. I have lots of things to study, to practice, and to think about. It seems that when I am home I am bombarded by the TV and people, and I would really like about three hours to quietly sit and do some thinking and reading.

3. I’m cutting my nails. My hand are not attractive, in fact, my mother used to call them “Pioneer Hands” (Jerry Seinfeld would call them “man hands”). But my long, artificial nails are coming off because of piano. I’m not really that bummed… I get to drive with man hands in my new car.