The Adventures of Jane, Marley and Cat

Today we officially ended our cleanse. We did it at a High Priests’ dinner, but I was good and didn’t have any meat or bread, only veggies and fruit. Well, ok, I had some ice cream, but Brent ate meat… and bread. (He claims that because I broke the cleanse first he won. Who knew it was a competition?)

Looking back I can say it was a good thing. For one, it did demonstrate that on some very small level I do indeed have some ability to be disciplined. Secondly, well, my colon thanks me. Thirdly, I dropped 12 pounds, 6 of which I likely gained back tonight. I will definitely do this again. Brent even suggested we do it a few days each week. We’ll see about that.

Kjarsti and I had Mommy Daughter day. She is still not feeling well, has had a low-grade flu for several days. But we managed to hit Dillards and happen upon a most excellent sale! I purchased a bra for $11 and a Fossil watch I have been eyeing for months reduced from $65 to $23. I love bargains!

So tonight for the High Priests’ dinner we went up to a cabin owned by one of the people in our ward. It is only 25 minutes away and it is absolutely beautiful! I was once again reminded that if I ever win the lottery (although that would mean that I would have to play the lottery) I would build a cabin for my progenitors. It was amazing to see the deer in the backyard, and to realize I was only 20 minutes from a grocery store or a gas station to buy a Diet Coke.

Speaking of Diet Coke… I’m still off the stuff. Now, before you think I’m all holy and righteous, I am not at all sure that my lack of Coke drinking has made me a better person. In fact, I don’t plan to continue my DC fast for much longer. Frankly, I wasn’t in the mood for one today. (Yes, even I was shocked)

I asked Brent to read my blog today because I thought he would find my top 10 amusing.

His response?

“I don’t have to read it. I am living the blog.”

Well, there you have it.

OK, so I amused myself last night plotting ways I could secretly eat today and not tell Brent. Yes, Brent, the man who nearly killed me on the first day, is now bound and determined to keep going on the cleanse. So I was thinking, “he’d never know if I stopped at Albertson’s and bought a package of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.” “Surely I could at the very least get a smoothie or something.” “Oh hell, I’m going to eat ANYTHING!”

Well, I didn’t get any food. I am amazed actually at how good I feel today. Right on schedule. They say day 4 and 5 are great. I think I may quit while I’m ahead.

Top 10 things I hate about cleansing:

10. That the lemonade looks like urine
9. That I am actually dreaming about food
8. That I haven’t actually craved a Diet Coke. That really bugs me.
7. That I have to get up and go to the bathroom at least 3 times at night.
6. That I have to go to the bathroom all freaking day.
5. That my breath smells like dead cats.
4. That the cookie lady is coming to work today.
3. That it is an actual treat to buy “designer water”
2. Squeezing the damn lemons
1. Pooping